Week 5: Where’s the Passion?

How do I learn to dream? What are my dreams… what’s even ONE dream I can grab hold of and feel passionate connection with? While pondering what my definite major purpose is in life, I realize that I do not know what I’m here for! One thing that I do easily is love God and love people. That’s a great start! But, drilling down into what that really plays out like as I’m focusing forward and setting intentions, I realize I really don’t know. It feels like I’m simply responding to my life, as it is. Kinda like a clipboard carrying inspector with a check list saying, “Yes, this piece can stay,” “This probably works fine,” and  “This doesn’t work for me, so I’ll dump it.” I LOVED how it felt experiencing Mark and Davene, as they described using words like a “favorite place in the world” and “falling on my knees in gratitude.” That sounds and feels like passion. I might compare it to a little girl in a candy store, absolutely thrilled by the smells, colors and shapes. That passion level is completely different than what I feel as I’m reading through what I’ve written for my definite major purpose in life. My current description is more likely compared to sorting socks. I’m casually tossing out the ones with holes or those without matches, what’s here that can stay and what can’t. So, how is it that this level of enthusiasm and delight is the MAJOR reason I’m here? I was put on this planet to do boring stuff like sort socks? I know that daily tasks are necessary and I feel the weight of responsibility to make sure that things are completed well. But a MAJOR life purpose surely can’t be blasé!

As I write this, I’m sitting at a window looking out at glorious fall colors in Michigan. There are splashes of color on trees and in gardens sprinkled with pumpkins and drying, dying flowers. Even the quiet of fallen leaves collecting on a paved walking path carries a feeling of deep overflow and abundance. It sounds crazy, but even the colorful arrangements of dead leaves strewn everywhere feel like LIFE. I want this drama and passion. I want the “lose track of time” and the “I LOVE it life!” My definite major purpose in life must be a collection of what grabs me by the heart and magnetically draws me toward it. I need COMPELLING! (Sorry for shouting:) It must draw me so powerfully that I can’t resist moving into the space or in the direction, because there’s nothing else on the planet that makes sense for me.

My life must carry the wonder and magic and beauty of glass jars of colorful candy or the rich depth of colorful Michigan leaves and piled pumpkins. Otherwise, what’s the point? Without this stirring and delight, I might as well be sorting socks. God, please show me the dream or the process that unwraps it. HELP!

 

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7 thoughts on “Week 5: Where’s the Passion?”

  1. Such lovely visuals in your blog. Thank you. I enjoyed reading it and I am SURE if you keep doing the exercises, everything will come together!

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  2. Wow!
    Your description of your insight that you lack the passion is so passionate by itself! You describe colourfully and emotionfully your despair of feeling nothing when it comes to your major purpose in life. And I liked a lot your description of the fall in Michigan. So poetic! I got a beautiful picture in my mind and I could smell the fall in Michigan.
    It seems that somewhere inside you is there a lot of passion and emotions. I am sure that you soon will find your major purpose. A major insight for you this week! I loved reeding it. Thank you for sharing!

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  3. You have a beautiful writing technique. Very descriptive, loved reading it! You’ll find your passion or it may find you! Either way it will come.

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    1. Thank you for your kind and encouraging words, Susie. There’s something very freeing realizing that either way I will arrive at the destination where my heart connects with LIFE!

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  4. I am not surprised you feel this way. Society/the system has this knack of killing every good intention and dream that we might have had when we were young.
    I remember Robert Kyosaki saying that we are programmed to be a social security number and be an impersonal person.

    Maybe we all go at times through moments like this doubting our abilities and forgetting all the things we wanted to do in life.
    Go back to when you were younger. You might find your dream and purpose there. Your love for God and people is a fantastic starting point. Look for answers in the scriptures. Christ came to this earth to be of service and save us all. He had no other purpose. Look what He has achieved. It is a great place to start to be able to be service those less fortunate.

    You obviously had a reason to do this course. This should be good enough to get you thinking. Poetry is also in you and your imagination seems to be intact. Let it work for you.

    Many times I felt that perhaps all the things I dreamed of weren’t to be. How wrong I was. Mark said in Paris that every one of us has one chance in 550 Trillion to exist. Are you special? Absolutely.

    We all have to do the socks at some point, or one cannot wear sandals!!! I I don’t like sandals much anyway so perhaps you can forget about doing the socks for a while…..

    Life is beautiful.

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    1. Thank you so much for your kind words and wisdom. Someone posted the following, in the general alliance: “Your “why” should make you cry.” I know the deep, heartfelt connection is inside of me and I believe it’s in continuing to walk along the path that I will bump into it. Blessings

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