MKE2 WK9: Whims & Wishes

Whims, wishes, hopes, fantasies and ambitions won’t change anything ~ My truest, real-deal, inmost thoughts will find expression and plant and establish themselves in my life … no matter what.

By using constant repetition I’ve established the concept that I do not have the self-discipline to consistently work out on my own. This belief has become part of the Miriam-fabric.

Meet Workout ball, free weights and mini-tramp. They’re standing ready to be helpful but I must choose...

I walk past my lovely little workout ball, free weights and mini-tramp, glancing at everything I need to put myself on a daily workout routine ~ lamenting the “fact” that I lack the self discipline and motivation to work out on my own.

In another lifetime I was a century riding cyclist.  This means I’d ride 100 miles on my bike in one day. This was before recent sports ergonomics and training wisdom. I didn’t know I had the wrong equipment and wasn’t training well. Heck, I didn’t realize then what I know to be a “fact” now that I didn’t have the self-discipline to make century rides happened! I thought I had every drop of self-discipline and everything else I needed, so I just rode!

When did I saddle myself with a lie that I lack something  to pedal forward, onward and upward over hills and through rain showers toward my LIFE? The actual Miriam-life I was wired and sculpted to live by the heart and the hands of my kind, brave, encouraging Heavenly Father? Haanel’s MasterKey system Part 9 says that my inner most thoughts will find expression [be produced, demonstrated, shown] just as surely as the plant springs from the seed.

Self-discipline is part of my personal history, as is excellent self-care. Somehow, sometime the condition I began to hold in my mind changed from being a courageous, competent athlete to a person requiring motivation, affirmation and accountability from others. I’ve accepted that I’m no longer a cyclist, I can’t work out except at the gym with a trainer, I’m a handicapped victim when it comes to driving my own living-in-this-body journey.

Haanel  further states that act is the blossom of thought, and conditions are the result of action, so I constantly have in my possession the tools by which I will certainly and inevitably make or unmake myself, and my journey or suffering will be the reward.

So, what’s the truth? Every cell in my body anxiously await this decision. Do I continue nodding dolefully toward my little workout collection, wishing I had the self-discipline to use the stuff  and hoping that someday I’ll wake up and discovered this character trait has been miraculously added to my wheelhouse? LOL dream on, Honey! That would be silly. I have a wealth of both personal experience and knowledge to pull the right remedy off-the-shelf!

Miriam, your remedy, your mission is to substitute thoughts and actual memories of courage, power, self-reliance and confidence. Haanel teaches (and so does the Bible) positive thought will destroy the negative as certainly as light destroys the darkness.

Am I a self disciplined athlete? I am a whole, perfect, strong, powerful, loving, harmonious, and happy creation of the living God. So yep!

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MKE2 Wk 7: NICOLE ZONE

“… do you not now and then feel the self within you?’ Haanel 7:30

Nicole does. She took her place Saturday in the front row of the MSU Marching Band Color Guard. The music from “World’s Greatest Showman” filled the stadium with power and electrical energy. Dancing to the choreographed movement of this elite ensemble, Nicole danced and twirled. She was in her ZONE.

Her face face expressed pure, focused intensity and delight. The flow of the flag and the precise timing of each movement looked effortless. Nicole was in her life “sweet spot” Saturday, with the color guard, the band and the music at Lucas Oil Stadium in Indianapolis. Anyone watching her on the field in those moments could see that Nicole, the real-deal young woman she was created to be, was unfolding and shining brightly before our eyes.

The movement looked effortless. It was as if Nicole was born with the natural talent to dance and smile and move with precision, strength and grace. However, there is a backstory. She’s been practicing and honing her skill relentlessly for 5 years. She’s worked hundreds of hours (maybe thousands now) tossing the flag and spinning the rifle and sabre, practicing precision, building strength and discipline daily.

Her relentless investment of heart and muscle, time-choice and energy have given Nicole two gifts. She has the privilege of marching with this elite musical organization. Deeper still, her choices have given her capacity and skill to courageously and clearly express her “Real You”.

Haanel asked the question if there is a time when when one feels the self within. Nicole’s inspiring performance on Saturday answered a resounding YES. She does. Every fiber of her being resonated I AM ME and I AM HERE. Nicole’s inspiring “all in” draws the “all in” commitment from a new place inside of me.

This grandma is inspired to earnestly commit to the discover, express, grow, stretch process for myself. When she shines Nicole, it inspires me to shine me.

Thank you.

 

Week 15: Words Build Life

Proverbs

I LOVE the tumble and jumble of words. Words fall out of my hand, through the pen and onto the page daily, as I write 3 pages of something called “Morning Pages”. This is a morning journaling process, a ritual to move past the nighttime swirl of foggy thought and see what surfaces as the real focus for the day or matter of great import. What is my heart REALLY thinking about each morning, as I roll out of bed? Rolling onto the page helps to clarify that discovery process.

Sorting ideas and concerns through my hand, out the ink of the pen and onto the page is like emptying a HUGE wastebasket or dumping rocks out of the belly of an airplane. The more I write the lighter, brighter and more focused my brain becomes. Thoughts focus, and grow more interesting. I can “hear” my own heart in a clear, unique way. When I allow time to hear and to write, the day shapes in a deeper, lovelier way.

I’ve read stories of people making major life shifts, using this morning page process. They tell of  writing plays and operas, starting musical careers and leaving successful legal practices to dance. Taking time to sift through the rubble of thought, day, and ideas and find the gems …. they expand, craft and build upon the gems.

For several years, I didn’t read the morning pages after writing them. I was going through a life upheaval and it felt freeing and cathartic to have a safe place to “dump” the unhelpful thoughts so my day could move forward. I realize now that there may have been a few treasures that I overlooked during those years, but probably not much. During that season, the main value was that it felt like someone was listening to my heart and helping me walk through another day that might otherwise have sucked life and breath out of me. I wrote to continue living.

The Julia Cameron book “Artists Way” describes the morning page process. I’ve read the book numerous times and lead an Artist Way group for 6+ years so I’ve walked the process through for myself and with others. One line from Julia’s book sticks with me and hops off the page each time I read the book. Cameron describes herself during a life transition of great tumult. She’s staying in a rental home overlooking a mountain, and writing daily while staring at the mountain. She may have been about a month into the process, and describes the “suddenly shift” she experienced: “And then, one wet morning, a character named Johnny came strolling into my pages. Without planning to, I was writing a novel. The morning pages had shown me a way.” (Pg15 Artist’s Way)

There’s something supernatural about daily showing up to the work, creative work especially. Cameron labels the pages as a “pathway to a strong, clear sense of self.” She also mentions numerous times in the book that she realizes that when she’s in the flow she’s not the person writing the pages. Something outside of her guides her hand. There’s something else that takes over the pen and the words flow from a place outside of herself. She describes words and ideas, thoughts and solutions, all waiting in an external ether, like God has set things into a swirl all around us and is quietly waiting for someone to pick up the pen or do the creative work to birth what’s waiting to be born or bring new life form into the world.

Once the pen is grasped and the thoughts birthed, the word and thought-honing process begins. Enter: my choice. What do I want to create? Life: strong, clear and beautiful? Death: good thoughts and intentions, deconstructed into shards and fragments of darkness and negativity. 15:20 of the Master Key this week says, “…  accuracy in building words and sentences is the highest form of architecture in civilization and is a passport to success.” So, there are at least two process phases: first: making myself available daily to capture the ideas and swirling thoughts from my head and from the external ether, into words on the page. Second, crafting written thoughts that express the form of ideal beautiful, strong, clear LIFE. I choose LIFE.

Week 13: The Gossamer Drive

Yesterday, my faith jumped. Experiencing the power of the MKMMA material in a new way, I felt a veil lift. For a brief moment, I was on the other side. I moved in another dimension. Being the observer, receiver and the driver, I was somehow living in the substance of faith and belief. Each time I stepped away and watched it unfolding, it felt “other worldly” and pretty bizarre. I could’ve been driving blindfolded.

 

gossamer drive

Here’s the backstory: my first morning appointment ran longer than expected, leaving me a 27+ minute drive to stop number 2. My schedule allowed only 15 minutes. Setting my GPS and repeating to myself, “I always start on time”, I pulled into the flow of Christmas traffic. Knowing that I needed to maintain a state of quietness, belief and rest, I began quietly singing and searching for red circles. Each time I felt a brief nudge to change course from my GPS route, I did. When the nudge said to follow a series of “pace cars” ahead of me, I followed, changing lanes and slowly dancing through the traffic. Because “I always start on time,” I expected I’d make my next time slot. The great majority of traffic lights turned green for 12+ miles of shopper traffic. I flowed.

The Holy Spirit brought “Ask and you shall receive”, to mind a couple of times, as the traffic moved eastward and I moved along with it. Feeling a tiny doubt creep in twice, I countered by more exuberant singing and greater red circle thankfulness. It was as if I was being pulled along by an invisible thread. There was NO stress, NO tension and NO need for quick, reckless evasive moves or lane changes.

Result? A 27 minute trip completed in 19 minutes. I arrived only 4 minutes late, by the clock. My contact wasn’t ready for me, so I had a few quiet minutes, in the waiting room. I sat. A state bordering on reverent awe enveloped me. From the client’s perspective, I started on time.

Lesson learned: follow and trust the gossamer thread and sing louder through uncertainty. I’ve experienced something quietly magical. How can I live in that place of trust and belief?